Father Figures
by Apollaskywalker
Summary: A look at three of Luke Skywalker's father figures
1. Owen Lars

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.

Uncle

You never thought you'd be a father.

Life on Tatooine was hard enough and while you loved your life, you admitted its difficulties and sometimes worried you would make enough to secure your future and Beru's. A child's welfare was something else entirely. Visitors came irregularly, trips to town special occasions. How would they make friends? Where would a child go to school? You knew nothing of these matters, you worried about the distance to a decent doctor should one of you fall ill, there were many dangers present.

But when Obi-Wan Kenobi brought you the baby, you took him into your home without hesitation. And though you held him through his sleepless nights, read him stories, gave him piggyback rides when you should have been working, something inside you knew you were not a father.

You cared for the boy, you loved him deeply, but children mystified you. When Luke would ask if some fantasy could be real, you were honest with him, whatever the answer was. Sometimes you disappointed him, his vast imagination overshadowed yours, and you could not keep up. You saw Luke's friends and allowed them to stay at times, but while Beru enjoyed their company, when they left, you felt relief. Your failures to be everything Luke needed wedged you further apart.

You made sure he knew that you were not his father because you felt he deserved better. Yet you felt he did not deserve Anakin as a father either. Or more accurately, Anakin did not deserve to be _Luke's_ father. Anakin had failed him too, even more so than you did. You played with Luke, you tried to encourage him but still keep him grounded. Anakin had left Luke. So you gave him the ghost of the father figure he should have had. It might have been a lie, but truly, the fantasy was better than the reality.

Life on Tatooine was hard enough.

You were not a father.

When the Stormtroopers arrived and questioned you, questioned Beru, beat you both, your first thought was of Luke.

You had been annoyed at him in the morning. He had work to do. You had not raised him to skip off like this.

But oh, _oh_ were you glad at that moment that you were not his father, that Beru was not his mother. His father had given him enough restlessness; enough impulsivity that whatever whim had drawn him out in the morning had spared him. Though he would mourn and cry for you, he would live. And that was all you needed to stand up to the Empire. For Luke's life, you would give anything.

And as your flesh burned, as you died, as you breathed your last, you were happy you were not Luke Skywalker's father. You were someone better.

You were Luke Skywalker's uncle.


	2. Obi-Wan Kenobi

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.

Uncertain Role

You only understood fatherhood from an outsider's perspective. You met parents and their children on their homeworlds, you met them away from their homes, you heard their arguments, you heard tears of joy and saw joyous embraces. But you did not know of fatherhood firsthand.

As a Jedi, attachment was forbidden. You had friends, but you never had a girlfriend nor intimate embraces. And that was fine with you, you did not want them.

But your brother, your padawan, he never abided by that. The moment he met someone he liked, he formed an attachment. And he was a father.

You would have been happy for him, in other circumstances. Anakin would have been a good father. But the situation was all wrong, the factors brought them to ruin and Anakin's chance as a father exploded in your faces.

You know the same about motherhood as you do about fatherhood, but if there was a woman guaranteed to be a good mother, it was Padmé Amidala. Strong, courageous, gentle, and devoted to all that was good, Padmé would have balanced Anakin's impulsivity.

And you were happy for her and the baby until the sorrow set in when Anakin was too far gone. Then you believed she would raise the baby alone and were sorry for her and the child, sorry for their loss. But still, they would have each other and that was better than nothing.

Then the blasted medical droid told you she was dying and she carried twins. Now you were just weary and sad. The poor children. Poor Padmé. The galaxy had lost so much, you had lost so much, but now this family was about to be destroyed. Disaster followed disaster.

You still didn't know anything about parenthood when the medical droid deposited the newborn boy into your arms. You were amazed you instinctively knew how to hold him, how to support him, while still bending for Padmé to see her son.

You tended to both babies as you made the journey to take Luke to his relatives.

But you were not a father and you knew it.

So you kept your distance and were a crazy old man on Tatooine.

The astromech droid arrived with Leia's message and though you heard her words, what hit you most was how much she looked like Padmé. How alike the two were. You sat back and thought for a moment as Luke made up his mind, you had not seen her since the day she was born. Odd how seeing her image now stirred old feelings – but not feelings of loss. Feelings of friendship as he remembered Padmé. Feelings of uncertainty as he'd held Anakin's daughter on the _Tantive IV_.

You were nothing to her but a name.

But to Luke you were "old Ben Kenobi" the "wizard", the "crazy hermit."

And he was you best friend's son.

You wanted him to come with you. It would be like old times: Kenobi and Skywalker. Obi-Wan with Anakin and Padmé united in the form of Luke Skywalker, until you reached Alderaan. Until you met Leia. Then you and Bail would introduce the twins to each other and let the Jedi fire come back into the universe. You would see Yoda again. All looked well.

But then more loss, as the Empire robbed Luke of his foster parents, his aunt and uncle. And Luke looked to you.

For guidance, for reassurance, for help.

You could not be his father. More than that, you did not want to be his father.

And your time as a brother – as a relative – had gone up in flames.

So you would not be either. You would be his mentor.

But you felt he deserved a better mentor. After all, your only padawan had gone to the dark side and lost everything. He took everything.

And so you and Luke went together, confident in all but your position in Luke's life.


	3. Anakin Skywalker

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

Father

You never had a father.

Your mother had been quite clear: there had never been a man involved with your family in any fatherly capacity.

That was until Qui-Gon, but he hadn't lived long enough for you to form a father-son bond. You looked up to him, certainly, but he wasn't your father figure.

Then there was Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan had never been a father figure either. Like an older brother who learned of a new baby, Obi-Wan had resented Anakin's presence until after Qui-Gon's death. Then he became a mentor, a friend.

You were brothers.

You told him he was like a father, but that was a lie. A lie meant to comfort him, to assure him that his status as master was secure. But you were always brothers.

And then Padmé told you she was pregnant. You listened to her plan for the baby, the room, and you both ignored your worries. You both basked in each other's presence, neither wishing to ruin the moment. You were going to be a father, but you did not ponder that. You pondered how the war hadn't changed her, you pondered how soft her skin felt, how the city lights sparkled in her eyes, the luxury of her nightgown, the curve of her belly. You never pondered the life inside her and what it would mean to you.

Then came the nightmare of her death in childbirth and you put the child out of your mind completely. Your role as a father came to a halt as your role as a husband, a lover, and frightened little boy rose to the surface. You sought a way to keep her and your Jedi Knighthood.

You did not seek a way to keep your family. You did not look to keep your wife, your brother, or your children.

And as soon as you found a "way" to keep everything, you surrendered it all.

Because you found the path of lies and it was easier to lie to yourself that this would work.

You never had a father. And before you even started to ponder what it meant to be a father, you lost the opportunity.

You listened to the officers speak when they thought you did not care, when they thought you did not listen, you listened to them discuss their families and the difficulties of being apart. You listened to the career officers discuss giving up children, disappointing their partners who wanted them, of relationships ending because they wanted their career more. And you hated them. You never realized why until now.

Luke and his sister.

Luke never had a father – that much was clear from the interviews and notes from his teachers and friends. Owen Lars had taken Luke in, but he had not taken him in as his son. You read the words, you heard them speak of how Luke spoke sadly of not having his parents. Of the hero worship they had all noticed between Luke and his father, a man he had never met. And you were proud. And you believed that the two of you belonged together. You approached him at Bespin, in the carbon freezing chamber, wondering how to address it. He hated you, but deep down he loved you. All you had to do was find the right moment, tell him, and he would be yours.

He would have rather died than be your son.

Did his sister have a father? Who raised her? What was her name? Who did she look like?

You'd focused so much on Luke. _**You**__ had a __**son**_. _You were a __**father**_.

And you pondered how to be one for the first time in your life.

You never had a father and Luke never had one either.

That was your fault.

And as you watched him writhe on the floor, listened to him cry out in pain, you realized it was entirely possible to fail a job you never knew you had.

A job no one believed existed, you had single handedly messed that up.

You stole from your son. You stole his father.

He never had a father.

But he had one now.


End file.
